Comment Love

Thank you, cheers, and peace.

I think I need to blog more often, there’s SO much happening in my life, and  I can hardly keep up with myself! I definitely wanna remember these moments of life though.

1. Isaac
   Today, 28/8/09, was the EDD (Estimated Due Date) of my baby boy. Rest in peace my sweet baby.
   I wish I don’t miss you as much as I do, but I rejoice in knowing you’ve reached eternal happiness and contentment.
2. Reviews
   I’ve been doing so many reviews as of late, I can hardly keep up with them! Much less, recall which product would be given away for the month!
   

   Review materials received this week.

   I now have a decent pile of products, and a list of website reviews outstanding.

3. Blog break
   Well, not in here (despite the Houdini I pulled), but the Little Red Bus blog is having a break. There are some pre-posted articles, reviews, etc popping up and publishing themselves (God bless scheduled posting), but we aren’t slaving away everyday writing a blog article for this week.
4. Re-design
   I tried very hard not to meddle with the sites, but I just couldn’t help myself! Have been doing lots of research and planning as of late, and I’m pretty positive about the expected outcome.
   The official site ain’t ready as of yet, but feel free to look into the blog and twitter.
5. Re-vamp
   I’ve been re-vamping our room so often, I think the male specie is getting confused and lost.
6. Simplicity
   Been so inspired by this site as of late, which has truly been a blessing! I’ve always been considered the ‘organized one’ both at work, and at home. Lately though, I’ve learnt I’m not all that organized, enough! So I’ve begun tossing out the unwanted, and making space for the more worthy, and perhaps neglected. And all it takes; is a pinch-ful of simplicity!
   

   I love my penny pinching device.

7. Organization
   So yeah, I’ve been organizing myself a lot as of late. My documents, schedules, business, and my life. It’s been great and I’ve I’m truly learnt learning to adapt with all my happenings lately, and move onwards.

I spent the past 4 months dreading this month, and this date in particular. Thus, it bedazzles me that August has been my most productive month in the year of 2009. Not only have I developed professionally, but also personally.

Here’s to a lifetime more.

Generation Y. You’ve heard all about us.

• We don’t watch TV much as you do.
• You’ve probably been told that we don’t read that much, either.
  
• You can’t find us on MTV anymore.
• You certainly can’t tell us what’s cool.

We’re the ‘Connected’ generation. Creations of the Baby Boomers who raised us with beliefs that we can do or be anything we want!

You’ve never met a bunch of optimistics, with the likes of ours.

• We believe in miracles.
• We work for joy. There’s no line between work and home. We just wanna spend our time meaningfully, no matter where we are!
• Our search for meaning has led us to give a damn about Gaia, and our community.

We’re everything you wanted to be, and some more. We IM, we text, we catch up with friends on ‘walls’ of Facebook. Most times, we do it all together at the same time. We grew up on the Internet, and we force you to think more creatively.

We don’t give a damn about your opinions of us. We experience the world on a whole. We do not go by instructions on what’s right and what’s not. We derieve our own judgements in the trenches of life.

We dig live music, art-houses, outdoors, mashups, extreme sports, and most importantly AUTHENTICITY. It’s cool, truthful, hip, edgy, and dorky; but we love it.

We aren’t naive. We’ve seen it all. From the hanging of Saddam, to 9-11, to the civil wars. We know real when we see it, but we continue to aim for the maximum experience of life. We understand we only get one chance, and we live it to its fullest.

It’s almost a month since my 26th birthday, and birthdays are much more than just cakes, candles and gifts… I’ve learnt more in the past 1 year, than many put together.

I’ve learnt:

• that ignoring pests, doesn’t mean they’d seize to exist.
• that in the smile in the morning; the hug before parting; and the smile before sleeping again for the night.. lies pure happiness.
• that money doesn’t buy class, happiness, joy, or long-term fulfillment.
• that sometimes, all we need is a little bit of understanding, and forgiveness.
• that being kind, is a lot more important than always being politically correct.
• that the love of a child surpasses everything.
• that the best lesson you will ever learn, is by looking deep into your own life and decisions made.

I look forward to learning much more this year, with much less painful lessons.

A couple of years ago, a friend sent me this video when I was goin’ thru one of those low days.

It’s been on my mind the whole day today.

You’re not alone
Together we stand
I’ll be by your side, you know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There’s no place to go
You know I won’t give in
No I won’t give in

Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
‘Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it’s too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I’ll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
‘Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through

Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing’s gonna change, nothing’s gonna change destiny
Whatever’s meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
‘Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through

Keep holding on
Keep holding on

There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through

This is probably gonna be a long post, my heartfelt apologies for that.

Those of you who know me personally, or have been following me around since blogspot days would most likely know about my divorce, how I met my new beau (now fiancée) and my experience with my first pregnancy; which resulted as a miscarriage in the first trimester.

You might also have read about my second pregnancy late 2008, my excitement, our plans for the baby, a roof, marriage; and lastly of course, the tragic decease of my son in April 2009. What you probably would NOT have read, is my ramblings over a couple (five, to be exact) of people I knew/know. That again, that probably would be because I removed the post, hours after having it posted, as I felt it was awful of me to have written such judgmental stuffs, about FIVE people.

(For those of you who missed out the post, fret not. Some sweet soul managed to track it down via Google cache and uploaded it here.)

It was after all, an apt post title: This Obsession You’ve Got With Me, It Fascinates Me.
Let me emphasize again, I took down the posts hours within completing it, feeling it was an extreme low-move on my end. Surely, depressed or not, it is no excuse to thrash your once-friends, or absolute strangers on the WWW; or anywhere else for that matter.

It’s amusing how the people (MOST of them) mentioned in the post, and I have since reconciled despite all the nasty things I said, and the nasty behaviour they were portraying (not that it is anyone’s business, since I took down the post), but there’s a certain number of individuals who went about assumed it’s ALL about them.

Really, how self-absorbed can one get? Oh, by the way, I’m not “self-contridicting” myself. I can surely say that the certain individuals have assumed that they are the people mentioned as they have sent SMSes’ to my fiancée enquring about the post, and blogging about it.

well, anyway, early this month, this cow posted a blog post on her depressing blog slamming other couples, micro-analysing their lives, and in her usual holier-than-thou attitude, was ridiculing these couples’ lifestyles, not once considering her own warped life. and of course, n*** and i were referenced in her blogpost.

Really people, there’s life beyond the blog-sphere, and I do have friends beyond those of my fiancé’s, AND you really are the tiniest of my thoughts, if any. Flattered, I am though, to know that you avidly read my depressing blog.

The Root Of All Evil
Is perhaps the fact that I’m a Bride-Wannabe.

• Again, perhaps it was my mistake to wear a white dress, with plentiful of baby blue flowers all over it. I suppose she must have overlooked that little fact, or perhaps her fury blinded her.
• Surely, it was a fashion mishap like some of her comments eagerly added.
• To wear a dress in the similar fashion of yours? OMG! Then again, geez.. how’d I know you’d be wearing such a simple dress in the similar fashion of MINE.
• Pardon me, but I always assumed white was reserved for church weddings, (my ignorance again) as I’ve attended non-denominational ones, and those of other races and religions, and none seem to hold steadfast onto the BRIDE-WEARS-WHITE rule, except (again) for church, christian weddings. Sure there’s the speculation that white gowns are reserved for virgin brides, but of course that’s not politically correct.
• Perhaps, if you had stated the proper venue of your wedding via an invitation card, I would have been better able to judge my outfit.
• Or perhaps you would forgive me if I said that was the only nice dress I had, as I supposedly am too broke to even buy a mirror. It’s plenty nice of you to throw in a mirror, miss.
• Probably the most important point of all, you could have simply told me off, and laughed off at my face. I wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass the next morning. Did you really have to stoop so slow?

and actually, on hindsight, i think i have gotten my sweet satisfaction. karma works in its own amazing ways, doesn’t it? bad things happen to bad people. don’t you get it already? or do you need a THIRD “telling”, you cow?

Where do you get your thrills, girl? What kind of “sweet satisfaction” do you derive from the passing of my son, and insunating the failure of a THIRD pregnancy? All of these because I wore a white dress (SIMPLE, with PLENTIFUL of blue flowers) to your wedding, and because you FALSELY assumed I was bitching (my bad) about you when it so-was-not about you! Even if I had wanted to bitch about you, I would never had done it because I placed value on my fiancee’s friendship with your husband; who always was too much of a nice guy for me to go blabbering about you, even if I sensed your dislike for me. So miss, EXCUSE MY FASHION MISHAP, but it doesn’t warrant you any rights to bask in the “glory” of my son’s death.

The Promiscious Me
Since we’re in the topic of dishing out my “dirt”.

let’s see, if you are NOT YET divorced, seeing another man while still being married, AND also got impregnated by the latter (not once, BUT TWICE!), wouldn’t you be the talk of town? hell, your messed up affairs will talk themselves around town! you don’t need us!

and you did not stop there, you even got the man you were seeing disowned by his mother, and chased out of the house, FIRST for dating you, and SECOND, for planting his seed inside of you…. again, NOT once, but TWICE! what makes you think, WE would be the only ones occupied with your sordid affairs, if INDEED we were? there’ll be plenty others to do you the favor, you stupid cow!

• Yes, I was seeing another man, WHILE in the process of my divorce, AFTER being separated for 3 years.

• Yes, I got pregnant (Oh, you are ONE to speak about contraceptive-failures) months shy of getting the official cert. Not that it’s any of your business.

• If you really wanna be a gossip monger, get your facts right miss. None were disowned or chased out of houses. The house BELONGS to my fiancee, too. Co-habiting, is a decision we came to, TOGETHER.
  

yes, you COW, the word is STILL accussed. YOUR BOYFRIEND did not ASK us if we did what you think we did, instead he outrightly assumed and said we did it, so the word is still: ACCUSED. get a dictionary will ya?

• Geez.. why all that fury? EVEN if he had (GOD FORBID) ACCUSED *gasp!* you, how is that any of MY BUSINESS? It was HE who sent the SMS (which you are sweetly safe-keeping), so go deal with him, and quit venting your girly frustrations out on me.
  

The Cow’s “Beloved” Sister

• If you had wanted to jump into a business with any sibling of mine, and “in your 30 YEARS of life” did not learn to safekeep your “trade secrets,” that is AGAIN, your careless act. Your deal with my sibling. Your anger at your proposed business partner. Again, NOT ANY BUSINESS OF MINE.
• And as for helping my sister start-up? It’s my sister, against the insane bitch (I’m using bitch since you openly declared it more pretigious than being a cow) that keeps yapping about me. Of course I’d rather assist my sister.
• By the way, your “trade secrets,” I never saw. I couldn’t be bothered. My baby just died, you think your business plan is my biggest issue? Again, why-SO-Self-Absorbed GIRL?

You wrote your super-angry post many moons ago, I took this long to write anything to avoid it being labeled a “rebuttle.” Cos’ again,

• You aren’t exactly my top priority.
• I’m REALLY not all that obsessed about you, or your business, or your blog, or husband, or splendid life.
• I turned up for your baby’s 1st month/shower/what-you-call that? (I might be using the wrong term, and be the LAUGHING STOCK of your party again, right?) just days after I lost mine. Not that you gave a damn, I now know.
• I of course never read your blog that often, or knew you’re bitching about me, till I saw my pictures on your blog. Of the day where I “so desperately wanted to be a bride”. I’ve had my moments, enjoy yours girl. Why’d you go ruin your Day obsessing over me?
• And cow? Really? Cos’ I find them absolutely adorable. Thanks anyway, I’d pick cow over bitch anyday. Bitch kinda has a slut-whore-scumbag ring to it, don’t you think?

You, on the other hand, did:

• Cursed my babies.
• Apparently, tried very hard to tarnish my business.
  let me give you a little introduction to this “cow”. she runs a so-called “company” called “little-something-something“. well, of course, i can’t disclose the exact name! but if you TWIST MY ARM (heh), i’ll give you clues! the first “something” is a color of the rainbow, and the second “something” is one of the modes of public transport (train? cab? taxi? bus?). heh! go figure!

  http://little-red-bus.com Need me to willingly leave you a comment with the URL? Or will you assume it’s some form of virus? Ah, but you know better, since you supposedly are a web designer too.

I Was Born Ass-First

here’s a tip, “girlfriend”. this is the right order to do things, since you were born backwards (or perhaps dropped on your head at birth):
1. first, GET divorced.
2. then get married to this man you’re seeing. (if he you want to)
3. and THEN get pregnant.
(or get pregnant, then get married, like we did, whichever you please, but GET RID of the husband, woman! tsk!)

Again, why the fascination over how I lead my life? Have we ever asked you for a favour? We choose to co-habit, and that really, is a matured, private decision between my fiancee and me. If you REALLY feel the need to poke your nose into our lifestyle (perhaps too much for you to handle), then least get your facts right, before you happily publish my lifestory. It does get juicy, perhaps juicier than what you published, but your facts are wrong.

Oh, And Here’s For the MALE Counterpart
No, not her husband. This probably the most amusing deal of it all. See, my fiancee has/had this childhood friend, with whom he spent loads of time with. I’m not too sure where exactly did their friendship go sour.

• Was it because I was pregnant, and we were busy setting and settling plans for our baby that he had to meet this friend a tad bit later than usual? (Note, I said later, we never abandoned him).
• Or was it because he wanted to stay home on the weekends with the pregnant me to spend sometime, instead of going out with this friend like he/we often did?

I might be wrong with my speculations though. Either ways, the girl I mentioned above? She was throwing her baby’s 1st birthday bash at Changi over a BBQ. We of course couldn’t go (though invited, I WONDER WHY NOW) as I was having the usual (no, not cursed, no karma involved) morning sickness (that came in the night), swollened feet, etc… Plus, their guest list included my EX-HUSBAND’s brother. Messy, no; we’re civilized beings (ex-husband, his brother, me, fiancee). Awkward? Yes.

So this “friend” goes around telling all the attendees that I supposedly am EXTREMELY upset that this “friend” went to the party. WHEN I DID NOT GO! Again, like I give a rat’s ass.

The next morning, would be the day I discovered my baby was dying. This “friend” was the first to know after family did, since he’s such “GOOD FRIENDS” with my fiance. We come home, and when we do get on the computer, he sends my fiancee the link to the pictures of the GIRL above together with her baby. Bravo, congratulations, happy birthday, but err.. a tad bit insensitive?

So horrible me went about saying that he was being INSENSITIVE, and YES YOU, that 5th person was YOU. You WERE  being INSENSITIVE. Had you been anyone else it might not have mattered so much, but you were his best childhood friend, and you sent him/us those pictures hours after we tell you about our child’s death?

Hence, he makes it his personal agenda to be insensitive. Which he of course, explains on his blog too, and demonstrates by tagging my profile on animals, and shares a great (and I mean GREAT) laugh with the GIRL, over my profile.

Really people, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Well, GIRL, you were.

As for you, INSENSITIVE “friend”, you were being blatantly INSENSITIVE. If you are willing to give up your friendship with him, over a post I wrote (and TOOK DOWN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) NOT about your FRIEND (see: GIRL), then there’s how much value you place in your friendships.

P.S.: You look like you could use some assistance in English language. I’ll shall share my dictionary with you when GIRL buys me one. Wish I could give it to you, but I’m supposedly TOO POOR.

Also, quit hiding behind your mobile phones and laptops. If you run and hide everytime we try to clarify your ASSUMPTIONS, it leads to this obsession of yours.

The next time you needa say something nasty, come right up and say it to me.

Back when I was a kid, the tube told me that “in the future” we’d all be free from disease and living in peace, flying around..”

The future is here, and I’m enjoying every minute of it.